2017 Can Have That One

A while ago, my old codgy great uncle who lives in a school bus on the St. John’s river and makes his living as a fisherman gave me two overflowing Walmart bags of books.

Earlier this year I picked one out and read it. The title — Restless Souls: The Sharon Tate Family’s Account of Stardom, The Manson Murders, and a Crusade for Justice.

Sharon_Tate_Valley_of_the_Dolls_1967
wikipedia.org

I’m not going to lie, it made me cry and it made me angry. ‘

For those who aren’t aware of what occurred, Sharon Tate Polanski was an American actress who was murdered, along with several other people, while she was nine months pregnant, while in her own home on August 9, 1969. The crime was terrible and gruesome. The murder wasn’t committed by Manson, himself, but by his cult following, his “family”.

To sum the book up — it’s Tate’s family’s account of the murder, how they felt, what occurred, the search for the murderer(s).  One such injustice discussed by Tate’s father, in the book, is that when originally sentenced for the murders, Manson was given the death penalty. However, California abolished the death penalty and converted his sentence to life in 1977. Tate’s family worked tirelessly against allowing Manson and his “family” subsequent parole attempts, appearing at every hearing and becoming ardent victim advocates.

Now, I know I have folks reading this from all over the world and I know opinions vary on the death penalty. I’ve lived in my entire life in the southern U.S. and every state I’ve lived in had the death penalty. And that is one thing I do believe in. Although studies show it’s not crime deterrent, however, it does get rid of one serial murderer. One child rapist. One terrorist. One mass murderer. One evil person. And the system isn’t perfect, I know that. But there are some crimes that do, unerringly, deserve death.

Because I hadn’t even been thought of when the murders took place, I just grew up knowing Manson was a bad, evil man. Because of my foiree into criminology, he’d been mentioned in passing, but more time was devoted to theory and actual murders, not cult leaders to commit conspiracy to murder.

download
wikipedia.org

So yeah, 2017, you actually did something right…. Well other than out half of Hollywood for being a bunch of pervy scumbags.

Capture

— Carolanne, HDH

Advertisements

My Holy Grail Curly Hair Products

Good afternoon, ya’ll!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, but, honestly I kept forgetting to write it. Like it’d pop in my head while at the store, or actually doing my hair, then I’d promptly forget.

But I’m killing some time, so why not.

These are my holy grail curly hair products:

Capture

This stuff right here — Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie is my absolute favorite curly hair product ever. It keeps my curls bouncy, not crunchy. Keeps my curls together and soft. Holds very well under the Florida humidity AND has a reasonable price tag of $10-ish.

The next product is something I recently discovered that I’m absolutely in love with.

Capture

Carol’s Daughter’s Mimosa Hair Honey. This stuff is worth it’s weight in gold. I got the smaller sample size at Walmart for $3ish. Full size retails for about $13.

This stuff, ya’ll, is so amazing. I put it on my part where it is thinning to promote hair growth, I add it to the front sections of my hair, where the curl pattern is tighter and frizzier. I use it to smooth fly-aways that come from me thinning my hair.

It smells heavenly. It kind of reminds me of a less viscous, sticky and much creamier version of honey. Essentially if you mixed coconut oil and honey is what the texture is like.

My third product is a hair spray. With shorter hair, I need to keep my fly-aways from flying away and keep my style held.

Capture

Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine hairspray — just my go to. Very affordable; under $5.

When it comes to shampoos and conditioners, I swear by Shea Moisture. Like all of them. Right now, just because of the heavenly smell, I’m in love with their Manuka Honey and Marfura Oil line. All their shampoos and conditioners retail for $10ish

Capture

When it comes to leave in’s, my favorite was this gem from Shea Moisture:

Capture

And I would totally repurchase it. It is so creamy, leaves my hair soft and silky…. but I’ve discovered this:

Capture

Camille Rose Naturals Curl Love Moisture Milk — Now, it’s a little pricier for me. Retails for about $13, but totally worth it. It smells heavenly, makes my hair silky and bouncy and beautiful. Great for over night or any time. Just amazing product.

I love it.

So yeah… those are my holy grail hair products for my mass of curly hair!

— Carolanne, HDH

Bad Reactions 

Just because your body was okay with something once, doesn’t mean that years down the road, you will have the same reaction.

Found that out first hand today.

So, I’ve taken Bactrim before for staph. I remember it made me super thirsty.

That was it.

This time around it not only made me thirsty, but also light headed, lethargic, and gave me the flop sweats. Also, things in my brain weren’t clicking. I legitimately forgot where I parked four times today, had a hard time explaining ideas and things. Forgot it was Thursday. Forgot it was November.

Geh…

Yesterday evening, I was three pills into my script and I just felt meh and thirsty. Crashed out pretty early.

Today, I was just not with it and it kind of freaked me out. Urgent care didn’t open until 11am, so I called my doctor and I told them what happened.

They wanted to see me like right now.

Rewind to way earlier this morning — had to go in for thyroid bloodwork. The phlebotomist asked if I had been drinking enough water… well yeah… I drank a whole half gallon of almond milk in two hours… which is mostly water.

She only ever asks that if she is having a hard time finding a vein.

Back at the doctor later…

The nurses checked my blood sugar, pressure and pulse. Everything g looked good. Told me I might be a little dehydrated. I’ve been peeing like a Russian race horse all morning. Like I just couldn’t get enough water.

When I saw my actual doctor, not the ARNP, she was way more worried about my staphy finger and changed up my antibiotic to keflex and gave me some Bactroban ointment.

Most of the grossness has drained out — I was able to get a little more out. About to hit the shower and do another Epsom salt soak.

Plus side — napped on the couch all day with Harley snuggles.

Downside — another medication on the list of thing I can’t take, not because of an allergy, but a bad reaction.

Recognition for Hard Work

Hey lovelies!

I got recognized at our work Thanksgiving luncheon!

23551162_10102592030178003_4788799297209510616_o
Redacted for quasi-anonymity. Obviously. 

It’s really awesome when you work your butt off, and do extra assignments, and take on extra work loads and someone notices enough to give you some kudos and props.

This legit made my day ❤

— Carolanne, HDH

“The God Who Loves Me” — A DMV Horror Story with a Happy Ending

Y’all, I’m legal now!

Yes!

I wrote a post on my previous blog about how a no-longer-friend gave me some bad (read: illegal) advice that screwed me over tremendously after I had already been pretty badly screwed over from the DMV.

Essentially, I had to change my car registration from Georgia to Florida.

Sounds simple?

Of course not. Nothing is simple. Ever. Especially dealing with the DMV.

The first one I went to was the big main office of the DMV which also houses the state office for the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles.

And the folks there were unmitigated assholes. Like, I’ve worked in customer service for the last 12 years — two and a half of which is for the government — never have I ever been an asshole to any customer or treated them so patently unkindly and rudely.

Never.

I’ve had to be firm, but never rude or unkind.

I left the DMV that day in tears — they voided my car title by writing all over it, saying I needed all this additional paperwork, which turns out I DIDN’T need, and were just altogether rude and surly bitches.

I legitimately had a panic attack that day.

So, a year and two months driving illegally. The main point of post “The God Who Loves Me”, featured on my previous blog, was because on two different occasions, I had Florida Highway Patrol get behind me and NOT pull me over. Both times I was trying to turn left and waiting on the light.

They could have got me, but they didn’t.

I could have been in a world of trouble. But by the skin of my teeth I did not.

I got my new title in the mail yesterday, then popped over to urgent care.

(Side note: confirmed it was a staph infection in my finger nail — which I already knew — and quite… uh… serendipitous I accidentally banged it on my steering wheel while at the post office and it decided to start draining. Which means, the doctor didn’t have to lance it. Just warm water soaks and and antibiotics)

But I digress… I finally confessed to my nana (aka my cosigner and the person whose name is above mine on my title) that I hadn’t had it done and was driving illegally.

She was just happy I hadn’t gotten pulled over.

Me too.

So… fast forward to this morning. I had anxiety dreams all night. Someone from Tifton, GA called me at like 2 am, which I didn’t answer. I woke up at 5 am. Nervous pooped three times. And made it out the house at 8 am.

Fortunately in Leon County, we can go to a tax collectors office and get all this done, so I didn’t have to go to the main office.

Low and behold! One near my house.

I get over there and they’ve moved.

Guess where?

Yeah… that evil place.

So, I break out my Google-Fu and find another tax collectors office conveniently located in the ghetto.

Hokay!

I got this!

And, my experience was so much vastly better. The young lady who assisted me was amazing and wonderful and if it weren’t inappropriate, I’d have hugged her.

I mean, I did get charged a late fee, but better than being thrown in jail or leaving in tears like the last time.

So yeah, driving legally.

To the tune of $427 — note, the late fee was only $20, and I had to have the address changed on my DL (unrelated to registration)… so without all that it would have still been like $380.

Capture

But it’s worth it.

Next step is to call my insurance and get my windshield replaced due to my crack. I want to get that done this weekend.

Car wash, air in tires, and a good cleaning out of and my vehicle will be ready for the trip to my parents next week.

Ya’ll… you have no idea how happy and relieved I am this is all over.

No more constantly looking in my mirrors for cops. No more being stuck driving only from home to work and maybe the grocery store.

The plate on the back of my car now says Sunshine State 🙂

AABw6rPjWalorbTgHvRC5INzf65GiBVFtaLu6lObZNY4W-TXMufPmsSyx3pZXYvh8bGPQJm4b_GHEniiCeWLZiSmnSfaJ9zevX9QQtWPuJDMTYW7QWoGMQj_vFkvJC3mv0jnuEH2qQQhoUjfdu3KL72tOlDXyBeQt76RIKJIRDW_1IpFkPDRIQxvz3

**sigh** amazing.

— Carolanne, HDH

Nail Biting is Bad, Y’all.

Well hello, my lovelies!

This is going to be a post about some gross medical stuff. If it bothers you, avert your eyes!

So, I’ve been a nail biter most of all of my life. 

There have been times I’ve quit for weeks or months, but the nasty habit always comes back.

I’ve tried lots of things to stop — self control, the wrist band, and my favorite (sarcasm), for not the reason you think — bitterly flavored nail polish.

The bitterly flavored nail polish would seep into the skin around my nails and whenever I touched my face, had to dig a popcorn kernel out of my teeth, blow/pick my nose, the bitter taste would migrate to my mouth.

What’s worse, is that when Honey Bunny went in for a smooch, he said he could taste it.

Gross.

Some awesome folks did a study on nail biting and anxiety, and it turns out, it is a form of dealing with anxiety and stress.

And, folks, what have I waxed poetic about — my anxiety disorder.

It’s not entirely clear why nail biting occurs. It’s considered an impulse control problem as well as a habit. Some people believe that most likely nail biting is instinctual, left over from our time as primates, and that when we’re stressed these instincts come out against our will.

Biting your nails is just one of many habits that the body seems to do when it’s stressed. Some people pick at skin. Others pull out hair (this is known as trichotillomania). In the end, it simply may not be clear why this happens, but most likely it provides some stimulating for the nervous system.

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/nail-biting

“They” say that nail biting is a sign of being a perfectionist. And yeah, I do have my OCD moments. My house is terrifically messy, but my office is a different story. Everything is organized to the T, color coded, filed, collated, categorized… everything.

Many people think of nail biting as a nervous habit, but the driving force may not be anxiety. Mounting evidence shows that people who compulsively bite their nails, pick their skin or pull their hair are often perfectionists, and their actions may help soothe boredom, irritation and dissatisfaction.

As many as one in 20 people suffer from body-focused repetitive disorders, engaging in behaviors such as biting their nails or plucking out hair until they damage their appearance or cause themselves pain. These disorders are related to tic disorders and, more distantly, obsessive-compulsive disorder. As such, the repetitive behavior is extremely difficult to quit—yet many people continue to think they simply have a nervous habit and are too weak-willed to overcome it.

A new study adds evidence to a theory that perfectionism rather than anxiety is at the root of these behaviors. The researchers first surveyed 48 participants, half of whom had these disorders and half of whom did not, on their organizational behavior and ability to regulate their emotions. Those with the disorders scored as organizational perfectionists, indicating a tendency to overplan, overwork themselves and get frustrated quickly without high levels of activity.

Researchers then put the subjects in situations designed to provoke four different emotions: to incite stress, they showed a movie of a plane crash; to promote relaxation, they showed a movie of waves; to elicit frustration, they presented a difficult puzzle but said it was easy; and to evoke boredom, they made participants sit in a room alone. People who had the disorders engaged in the body-focused behaviors during all the situations except the relaxing movie.

The work, which was published earlier this year in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, jibes with a recent theory that stress is far from the sole cause of these compulsions. Boredom and frustration, easily elicited by an underlying perfectionist personality, may be more important triggers. Past research suggests that the biting or scratching indeed makes people feel better temporarily—perhaps satisfying the perfectionist urge to be doing something rather than nothing. After the initial relief, however, comes pain, shame and embarrassment.

The findings could help therapists treat patients who suffer from the disorders; studies have shown that these types of perfectionist beliefs and behaviors can be eased with cognitive-behavior therapy. If patients can learn to think and act differently when tension builds, they may be able to stop the urge before it starts.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/nail-biting-may-arise-from-perfectionism/

I’ve been a lot better about biting my nails since I started Zoloft those years ago, but I still do it. Not as frequently though. I can go a full week without chewing, when before I would chew my nails down to the quick.

But that brings me to the next thing…

I’ve got a paronychia on my right ring finger, and YEOCH!

Paronychia
Totally not mine, but you get the picture. 

Paronychia (say: “pare-oh-nick-ee-uh”) is an infection in the skin around the fingernails or toenails. It usually affects the skin at the base (cuticle) or up the sides of the nail. There are two types of paronychia: acute paronychia and chronic paronychia. Acute paronychia often occurs in only one nail. Chronic paronychia may occur in one nail or several at once. Chronic paronychia either doesn’t get better or keeps coming back.

https://familydoctor.org/condition/paronychia/

So yeah, it’s painful and it hurts.

I’ve had three in my whole life — and I was able to lance all of them myself.

Now before anyone says you should never do this at home, I’m staph prone, so I know the drill and procedures — gloves, sterilization, ointments, bandaids, pus… the whole shebang.

I was going to drain this one at home to, but the I remembered the other times I DIDN’T go to the doctor because I didn’t have insurance.

So, fuck it. I’m going to take my happy butt into urgent care and have the damn thing lanced. It’ hasn’t come to a head yet and it hurts like a bitch and my whole ring finger is swollen.

So, yeah, it’s that time.

— Carolanne, HDH

Trip to the Nursery

Good Monday Morning, lovelies.

This weekend, Honey Bunny and I attended Artisans in the Garden, hosted by the Tallahassee Nursery. The weather was absolutely perfect.

I’d never been to the nursery, but it was glorious and I only came out spending $11 on some outdoor kale plants for this sad, empty pot I have and some pothos/devil’s ivy that’s looking pretty sad. I got some more pothos to mix in to spruce it up.

Pothos-plant-for-home
Not toxic to cats (because Harley loves munching on it) and purifies the air

Some big factors for me when buying plants is the amount of effort needed and whether or not it’s toxic to my cats.

I almost walked out with this beautiful, heavenly smelling mona lavender plant, until I researched it on the ASPCA website, and it’s toxic.

Plectranthus-Fanned

Yikes!

I picked the kale because it’s edible (yay), my cats can munch on it, and it loves the cold weather. I’d be sad getting an outside plant that’s going to die during the winter.

Per the title of the event, there were definitely artisans in this garden.

636449162905843878-TLHBrd-11-03-2016-Chronicle-1-E001--2016-10-31-IMG-AG3.jpg-1-1-67G7NTDA-L910754227-IMG-AG3.jpg-1-1-67G7NTDA

Lots of local artists came out to show off their beautiful works. One specific artist, Jinsey Smith, who is a lovely person and a lovely friend, came out with her beautiful paintings and prints.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures so, ya’ll are going to have to head over to her website to view these beautiful pieces. I will tell you, I came out with a print of this beautiful owl, and the internet doesn’t do it justice:

Capture1

In addition to all things involving beautiful weather, I took Harley cat out on the leash. The weather was amazing and she loved chomping on the grass… however, she wasn’t very fond of the whole “leash” aspect.

23415352_10102585796874593_1912210417453385930_o

My Thanksgiving plans appear to have changed… so, I’m going to take Harley and Vesper with me. Mom and Dad already have two cats, with a litter box, and such… so it shouldn’t be such a big shock. I’m going to put Vesper in the carrier, because I know she’ll spaz out. But Harley is going on the leash… in the car…

Yeah….

Fortunately, I’ve talked Honey Bunny into coming and he can be the one to keep Harley “restrained”. So I won’t be leaving Monday night. We’ll actually be leaving Wednesday night and I’ll drive. I already have Tuesday and Wednesday off, which I’m not going to give up those days off because… well… I want them off. Even if I’m going to be in town lol.

It’ll allow me to pack and plan and such.

But yeah, the nursery was amazing. I loved every second of it.

— Carolanne, HDH